After hours & hours of going over the events of this weekend, rolling the words and events over the roof of my mouth until the sides of my tongue were raw & dull, I've finally decide how I feel; I feel completely betrayed & oddly used.

When I first gained knowledge that my boyfriend had punch another man in the face for "disrespecting me" the pervious night, my first reaction was "Oh- I should feel proud, right? This is honorable?" (should I point out, that it was not just any man but the man I met him through and the boyfriend of my best friend?) but after admittedly waaay too much thought I've decided "no. I do not feel honored". That there are too many other factors here for THIS to be honor.
My many thought up factors:
1) I had no knowledge of the events before they happened nor did I during (I was passed out in a very dreamy slumber in the bed we share). BUT the action has been completely declared in my benifit.
2) My boyfriend and this man have had problems between them in the past. There has been tension brewing and both of them have felt a great betrayal from the other for some months now.
3) It is a backhanded lash AGAINST me by my boyfriend for my lack of NOT having his back in the way he desired when he thought I should.
4) I'm a big girl! I can handle my own shit and would at least like my opinion to be valued on SOME level of whether or not I thought it was an appropriate way to handle the situation.
5) My best friend hates me now and nothing was worth losing her.
6) I do agree that this guy talks to everyone like shit. He is condescending and disturbingly insulting to his girlfriend and roommates. He is lazy and takes advantage of those who love him. He is a bully and needed to be put in his place. BUT not in the name of ME!
7) My BF now feels guilty for it and resents ME for it!
8) I recent him as well.
And the shittiest thing is that I'm now the "bad guy" in so many peoples minds! That I sent him over there to handle my business and I'm a coward; but I can't even tell anyone involved how I feel b/c then my BF will be the one feeling backstabbed and lied too. If I talk to him about it he'll just attack me by claiming I'm ungrateful and I'm unwilling to go back to the way we have fought in the past.
Should I just let this one go? Let my best friend keep on thinking I'm shit and me keep feeling like it? Is there a way to resolve this?Am I blowing this way up b/c I can't sleep? LOL

PS- my spellcheck is broken and I'm a really bad speller I know I don't need anyone to correct me! thanks! haha